Simplifying everything: The Cure to divorce is getting the (two) bonding forces working together in a way that eliminates resentments, ensures the couple grows/evolves together, and strengthens their bond over time.
It’s a return to the stretchiness of the bond during courtship (where romance exists), and growing to where the marriage covenant makes it safe to be authentic, rather than preventing authenticity. We call this safe elasticity the Marriage-Bungee; where there is an unbreakable tie between you, that only gets stronger each time it’s tested.
We deliver The Cure in little doses, day by day through The Community. It lets you inch your way into a Healthy, Harmonious, Happy dynamic over time. No big sudden changes to get worried about; you just wake up in a healthier place.
Authentically Me with You Our marriage commitment can be defined as a stretchy cord between us, that allows us to live in the distance we feel (having healthy Social Communication), but without abandoning each other.
This cord is called the Marriage-Bungee. It maintains all the sanctity of our devotion to companionship and our belonging, without hiding who we truly are. In fact, keeping the elasticity of courtship in the Bond, strengthens it, so that decades into marriage, we are still excited to be with each other. The dynamic (the dance moves) between us grows sweeter by the year, and divorce is only something that happens to other people.
The Cure is to replace all those ideas about what marriage is and how it's supposed to work (the artificial constraints and restrictions) with an honesty about what it actually is. Freeing you to grow together, rather than apart. Making it safe for each other to be authentic and vulnerable which draws us into a unity of Mind, Body, and Spirit.
Marriage Alive and Well Every living thing goes through regular cycles. The healthy cycling of closeness and distance in a marriage strengthens the Bond and grows the commitment deeper. It’s the pendulum principle. When we are honest about the distance we feel (when we live in it) the pendulum swings out away from our Spouse. It may be scary, but it's that outward swing which allows (even causes) us to swing just as far inward; toward them into a deeper closeness. It may seem strange at first, but its a simple profound truth found everywhere in nature. We only truly appreciate the warmth of the new day, after having experienced the dark cold of the night. Tasting a (short term) loss of the thing we took for granted, teaches us the value of it. Feeling the distance, makes us appreciate and reach for the closeness.
A healthy marriage swings through moments of closeness into moments of distance and back again; with every cycle strengthening the Bond. When we construct artificial barriers to that natural movement (the Marriage-Box) we take the life out of our marriage. The Cure is first, the deconstruction of those barriers, and second, restoring the natural swing of a healthy spousal dynamic. This happens when we grow into beliefs about marriage that allow the honest fluctuation of distance, without compromise to our commitment. When we allow it, the Marriage-Bungee ensures the flexibility, the elasticity of our Bond, the natural Social Communication that ensures we weather all the storms, together.
The Cure is the Marriage-Bungee. (The Community grows you into it!)