Imagine a social media that's adventurous. Where the common area is filled with posts by people who have completed a Run through the TESLA-Protocol, had a lot of fun doing it, and experienced real life-changing Ah-ha moments!
Imagine reading about people just like you who came into the community starving for understanding about how their life got so messed up. People who are now sharing triumphant poignant stories about how, for the first time in years, they are playful and flirty with their spouse. How they once spent most of their time just focused on family duties without ever feeling appreciated or respected. But now they have deep meaningful conversations that energize them through the night into the morning hours like when they were courting.
Now imagine you, yourself, making a post like that!
We are all in this together.
We all have limiting beliefs that lead to divorce, like weeds growing in the garden. They need to be removed and replaced with healthier beliefs. Coming together as a community, our dialogue makes the Cause and the Cure very clear contrasts, like the opposite ends of a long journey. Seeing where we are between the two end-points allows us to set our direction and work together to get there.
As a community we are changing the world by offering real answers for those who value strong marriages.
The marriage landscape is littered with quicksands that suck us in, depositing us in some wilderness of confusion, muttering to ourselves “What just happened?” Imagine you wake up one morning with no idea where you are. This is because you stepped into one of those quicksands the night before. You want to get back home where its safe and familiar. What’s the first question you must answer?
Think about it in the physical-world sense. Say you’re from LA or NYC or some other metro. You wake up to the cock-a-doodle-do of a rooster. Looking out the window there are no paved roads, no buildings except one lone barn and only open rolling hills of hay fields as far as you can see. What is the first thing that pops into your head? Ahhh, I mean the first question!
“Where am I?”
To answer this question, you need a known-reference-point. Because even if you see a “Welcome to Jonesville” or “Smithville” sign out front, or whatever its called, it still doesn’t help. You need a known reference and then you can use its relationship to your home to answer the location-question, in a meaningful way.
Once we have our location, we can then plot a course to get back home. Without our location, we remain lost. We all get lost from time to time, learning “Where you are between the Cause and the Cure” is the first step; this is Location. Then using the tools we will make available, you’ll have vehicles to get you home. Come find yourself with us.
Safe to Participate:
A very big part of what the Community affords its members is a safe place to heal.
Some of us are too busy blaming, to become anything else. The Disease-of-Divorce brings out the worst in all of us. Healing from it can only happen in an environment that is free of blame, or any kind of other repercussions.
Because the discourse of the Community is based in the Science of Human Relatedness, its about the way all relationships function. The scientific perspective takes all the blame out of it. It makes any attempt to blame, just silly. Like if someone were to blame an apple for falling from the tree. Its just silly because the apple is simply and apple, and gravity is simply gravity, and when the apple ripens it just naturally falls. What is there to blame? The whole idea of it, is just silly.
Because all participation is volunteer, any time you feel your words might be used against you, remain quiet. Or, better yet, you can post anonymously through a moderator. But most likely, whatever your concern, it will be voiced by someone else, because of the format and facilitation of the public dialogue.
It’s not marriage counseling or group therapy. No one is telling you who or what you should be and you are never singled out and pressured to air your dirty laundry. It's not just a bunch of positive thinking and reciting of affirmations. The TESLA-Protocol gets us clear about what leads to divorce and what it looks and feels like to be free of those things, then because you can see clearly, you can do something about it.
The Community is scientifically designed and engineered to help you locate yourself between the Cause and the Cure, whether or not you ever post anything. Nobody needs to even know you were there, healing.
How it Works:
The daily dialogue is all about what married life looks like at the opposite ends of the Bonding continuum. It teaches us to recognize when we are in the Marriage-Box and how to grow toward the Marriage-Bungee.
It’s the natural process of transformation: First recognize the difference between where you are and where you wish to be. Second, take regular, little steps in that direction.
The truly amazing part is, once we can see those contrasting end points on the continuum, we cannot help but move in our desired direction. The discomfort/pain of the Box makes evolving toward the Bungee easy. There may be times we feel stuck, but the natural migration will continue in other ways we don’t even notice. Then one day you realize your Box has become a Bungee, you can live honestly in the distance you feel at the moment; all because you also feel the security of that Bungee cord holding your marriage commitment in tact.
Experience it! The first time you experience the freedom to be honest and true to yourself, without any threat to your marriage is like walking on the Moon. You’ve heard about it, imagined it, but doing it for the first time is beyond description; words just cannot describe it! You can only know it by the experience itself.
We, The CURE Community, invite you to come along with us on this amazing, indescribable journey into your healthy, harmonious marriage. Not the blissful, happily-ever-after, that romance movies pretend and little girls fantasize about; but the real life, joyful adventure of being true to yourself within the marriage you are committed to.
You are just one person, you can’t turn the tide of divorce by yourself. You can’t even do anything about your own spouse. But you can do the one thing that will make all the difference in the world; you can free yourself from your own Marriage-Box. Your spouse will notice and be unavoidably effected by the transformation in you. It will cause a ripple effect granting permission to everyone around you to turn their marriages into committed courtships. You will be the example for your children and your parents alike. They will see the life cycle return to your marriage and the joy of being together fill all the spaces around you. None of us can change the whole world, but the world is unavoidably changed, by the change in us.
Bungee right out of my Box
Think about the cost of divorce. Maybe you have already decided to end the thing. Maybe you are done dealing with the drama. You might even be divorced already or divorced several times. So, the Marriage-Box hasn’t worked for you. Big surprise there!
It’s like getting run over by a train. It hurts like hell and takes a long time to heal, but who is telling you to get back on that track? Isn’t it time you tried the open road? Part of the healing is learning the life lessons from whatever smacks you down. Get your “Been there, done that, not again” attitude in gear and learn to Bungee. The next time you take the plunge into marital mayhem, Bungee-jump! You just might find it’s the wildest, craziest, most fulfilling ride of your life.
Hey, its far better to be alone and lonely, than married and miserable. But, who says marriage has to be miserable? Just because you haven’t gone Bungee jumping, it’s no reason to hide in a Box.